Family Meals Focus

The Ellyn Satter Institute Newsletter

Children who are obsessed with food

by Ellyn Satter, MS, MSSW, Dietitian and Family Therapist

Does your child eat a lot? Does he love to eat, think and talk about it, look forward to it, and/or eat fast and enthusiastically? If you are like a lot of parents in our weight-hysterical world, you may fear that such traits condemn your child to obesity. Not so. Follow the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding, and trust your child to know how much he needs to eat. He will only become an overeater if you try to curb his enthusiasm and make him eat less than he wants. That will shame him, he will be come even more preoccupied with food, and he will eat as much as he can, whenever he can.

Some children are just scary

Consider the toddler who is described by his mother as, from birth, “eating a lot, being a fast eater, and now being obsessed with food—always clearing his plate and pestering for food continuously, especially when he is upset or anxious. The pediatrician says his tests are normal.” Consider the preschooler who “eats until he throws up” or the preschooler who “moans when she eats and plans her next meal before she finishes eating this one.” 

The conventional wisdom: There is something the matter with them

  • “Our Endocrine doctor says most of her outpatients aren’t able to regulate; they often eating until vomiting.”
  • “My twins are the same way and just got diagnosed with sensory processing disorder.”
  • “Certain children are born with abnormally hearty heartier appetites (they are hyperphagic)1 and grow too fast.”2
  • “Children who are born large are more likely get fat as they get older.”3

The conventional wisdom causes the problem

The conventional wisdom is wrong. Children who have the support of the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding know how much they need to eat.

Look up the word iatrogenic: it is a disease caused by treatment. Here is how conventional approaches to feeding children and addressing child “overweight/obesity” cause the very problem they are intended to address. In all cases, children regulate perfectly well when parents follow the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding. 

  • Some children are naturally big or fat and grow consistently at a high percentile. Conventional thinkers go by the 85th or 95th percentile cutoff points for pronouncing a child to be too fat and impose food restriction.
  • Some children have hearty appetites and/or are enthusiastic about food. Conventional thinkers miss children’s innate ability to eat only as much as they need  assume these qualities to cause overeating and obesity. They impose food restriction, especially of highly appealing food.
  • Children who have unusual or poorly understood conditions are often assumed, with absolutely no evidence, to be born lacking the ability to regulate food intake. This might be a child with special needs, endocrine problems, or developmental disabilities. Having made this assumption, conventional thinkers impose restriction on food intake and precipitate a child’s food preoccupation and inclination to overeat when he can.
  • Children who are afraid of going hungry become food obsessed, may eat until they throw up, and constantly beg for food, especially when they are upset or anxious. Parents might restrict children’s food intake, be too strapped financially to buy enough food for everyone, or be so disorganized that the child can’t depend on getting fed. Conventional thinkers miss the cause and go straight to even more food restriction, thereby traumatizing the child even more. 

Children know how much they need to eat.

The conventional wisdom, of course, is wrong. Children who have the support of sDOR know how much they need to eat. They only become overeaters when, for whatever reason, they become afraid of going hungry. Despite what you read in the literature and hear on the grapevine, the principle that children know how much they need to eat applies to these children, provided their parents follow sDOR:

  • Large infants. Big babies might stay big (but not necessarily fat), or they might slim down over time. They grow in the way that is right for them.
  • Children who need to eat a lot, have hearty appetites, and/or love food. Even though appetite is compelling, it can be satisfied. Even children who love to eat  know how much they need to eat.
  • Children who have endocrine problems (e.g. diabetes, very slow growth, thyroid dysfunction). Children with diabetes regulate. Those who grow slowly eat what their bodies tell them to. Children with thyroid under-activity may eat little and grow slowly until the thyroid dysfunction is addressed. There are no endocrine disorders that explain child “obesity.”
  • Children with sensory issues—who are unusually sensitive to tastes, textures, and smells. These children learn manage their own sensitivity, push themselves along to eat a variety of food, and regulate their food intake as long as parents follow sDOR.
  • Children who eat a high proportion of starches, processed foods, and even sweets. Poor food selection doesn’t make children fat. Poor feeding practices can. While too many sweets can unbalance the diet, they don’t make children fat as long as they get them at structured meals and snacks rather than being given unlimited access and/or random food handouts.

What to do about “food obsession?”

Establish sDOR. Children are “food obsessed” because they are afraid of going hungry. To reassure the child this won’t happen, parents must be scrupulous about maintaining structure and absolutely faithful about letting the child eat as much as s/he wants at structured, sit-down meals and snacks. At first, the child’s so-called food obsession will become more pronounced. However, soon the child will begin to trust parents to let him eat as much as he is hungry for at structured meals and snacks. Then he can get in touch with his internal cues of hunger and fullness and eat more like any other child at his age and stage of development: sometimes a lot, other times not so much.


  1. Fisher JO, Cai G, Jaramillo SJ, Cole SA, Comuzzie AG, Butte NF. Heritability of hyperphagic eating behavior and appetite-related hormones among Hispanic children. Obesity (Silver Spring). Jun 2007(6):1484-1495.
  2. Llewellyn CH, Trzaskowski M, van Jaarsveld CH, Plomin R, Wardle J. Satiety mechanisms in genetic risk of obesity. JAMA pediatrics. Apr  2014; 168(4):338-344.
  3. Cunningham SA, Kramer MR, Narayan KM. Incidence of childhood obesity in the United States. N Engl J Med. Jan 30 2014;370(5):403-411.


For more about withstanding the convention wisdom about child eating and overweight, read Ellyn Satter’s Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming

Your Child's Weight


Related issues of Family Meals Focus

sDOR addresses child obesity

  • To prevent child overweight and obesity from birth, support parents in following sDOR.
  • To treat child overweight and obesity at any age, restore sDOR and trust the child’s own homeostasis to restore appropriate growth.

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