Some say yes: Breastfeeding any time and at any age is nature’s way and therefore best. Others say no: When a child is between one and two years of age, we feed them on schedule, not on demand, and that includes breastfeeding.
This is a developmental issue
Ellyn Satter says to consider the issue from the child’s point of view: “To me this is a developmental issue. The typically developing child approaching the end of the first year and into the second year is ready to experience the narcissistic resolution: To find out that s/he is no longer the center of the universe (where others drop everything and immediately address their needs), and joins the larger social group of the family (where they have to wait a bit for gratification).
“During early infancy (roughly the first six months), exclusive breastfeeding or formula feeding on demand fits the children’s developmental needs and lets them accomplish homeostasis and attachment. As children move through the “older baby” then “almost-toddler” stages, moving toward structure is a better fit because it supports separation-individuation developmental stage. To know where s/he leaves off and others start, they need structure in all things, including feeding. To make the transition from the demand feeding of infancy to the meals-plus-snacks routine of family meals, they (and parents as well) experience a necessary loss: Giving up the intimate one-on-one relationship of nipple feeding in order to gain the reward of being part of the family.”
Get started with sit-down snacks
Here is what it says on the ESI website, under How to feed/ages and stages/feeding your almost-toddler. During the older baby stage, in response to your child’s increased regularity with feeding, you offered snacks partly on demand and partly on a schedule that you determined. At the almost-toddler stage, you continue to support the transition from demand feeding to structure by offering your child sit-down snacks roughly every two or three hours between meals. That lets him arrive at mealtime hungry (but not starved) and therefore able to behave nicely: He is interested in eating the food there. While he is likely to love drinking and eating on the go, he won’t learn to eat the food you eat because his special food, delivered in his special way, is more to his liking. Offer any nipple-feedings (breastmilk or formula) as a structured, sit-down snack. Don’t offer anything else between times except water. You are establishing the meals-plus-snacks routine of the division of responsibility for older children: Parents do the what, when and where of feeding, children do the how much and whether of eating.
Understand child development and feeding
Feeding with Love and Good Sense: The first two years addresses nutrition, child development, understanding and responding to child feeding behavior, and feeding relationships with respect to breast feeding, formula-feeding, beginning solid foods, and learning to eat grownup food.
Eve Reed APD and Ellyn Satter Institute Faculty Member
This is not good advice. I really like the Ellyn Satter approach to feeding, but you have really missed the mark on this article. This article isn’t written by a specialist in infant feeding, and I think that shows. The WHO advice is really clear: breastfeeding should occur on demand – that is as often as the child wants, day and night for up to 2 years and beyond. Developing feeding competence is importance, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of attachment and food security.
You are certainly welcome to follow your own course with breastfeeding your child. However, we stand behind Ellyn Satter’s observations. WHO and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months, then introducing complementary (solid) foods at 6 months. “Breastfeeding beyond the first year . . . should continue as long as mutually desired,” (AAP) or “Continue frequent, on-demand breastfeeding until 2 years of age or beyond” (WHO). WHO has to concern itself with food security: In developing countries, extended breastfeeding is important for child nutritional status, provided the mother gets something to eat. Neither agency considers child development with respect to feeding. For instance, Satter takes exception with the “start solids at six months” recommendation and encourages, instead, “go by what you baby can do, not how old he is.” Satter does not say you have to wean, whether from breast or bottle. She does say, “don’t let your separation-individuation-stage child fill up on other food around mealtime (whether it is breastmilk, a bottle, food pouch, or on-the-go-cup).” Satter offers a way to continue breastfeeding (as long as mutually desired) without interfering with your child’s growing up to join in with family meals.
My own personal experience of breastfeeding my toddler (almost 2 year old) is that he will breastfeed on demand quite frequently and it is to help with big emotions. I follow division of responsibility for all meals and snacks but still breastfeed on demand and he sits happily for meals and eats quite well, I don’t think the breastfeeding is a problem for his eating at meal times. I just follow my mothers intuition on this one. He needs to comfort and he needs his Mum at this age. I’m quite pleased with his growth and his energy levels and his behaviour at the dinner table so will continue to do this our way into his 3rd year.