Addressing Concerns About Your Child’s Weight

At some point, you may be concerned that your child is either “too small” or “too large”—and well-meaning professionals, family members, or friends might suggest strategies to manage your child’s weight. However, when a child is in a larger body, common advice often involves restricting food or increasing activity—based on the assumption that the child simply eats too much or moves too little. These strategies may seem straightforward, but they can undermine trust in the child’s ability to self-regulate and may do more harm than good.

For children in smaller bodies, parents and caregivers might feel pressure to get their child to eat more—encouraging extra bites, insisting on clean plates, or relaxing boundaries around food to ensure “something” is eaten. While these efforts come from a place of care, they can also disrupt a child’s natural cues of hunger and fullness.

It’s important to know that body diversity is normal. If your child’s weight is tracking consistently along their own percentile curve—whether that’s above the 95th percentile or below the 5th—it’s likely appropriate for them. What’s more important than the number itself is the pattern: a sudden increase or drop across growth percentiles may suggest a disruption in typical development and should be addressed with a trusted healthcare provider.

Common Feeding Mistakes That Can Disrupt Your Child’s Growth

Supporting your child’s healthy development includes how you approach feeding. Here are some common missteps that can interfere with your child’s ability to grow and eat well:

1. Using Pressure or Control

When parents or caregivers try to get a child to eat more or less—by pressuring, bribing, restricting, or forcing—they interfere with the child’s natural ability to know how much to eat. Children need the freedom to decide whether and how much to eat from what is provided.

2. Lack of Structure

Kids thrive on routine. Without consistent meal and snack times, children may graze all day or go too long without eating, both of which can disrupt hunger and fullness cues. A predictable structure around meals supports better eating and growth.

3. Trying to Control Growth

Trying to make a larger child eat less, or encouraging a smaller child to eat more than they want is likely to backfire. These efforts may actually disrupt your child’s natural growth patterns. Instead, look for steady, consistent growth over time. Growth charts can help show whether your child is growing predictably—and whether there are real concerns that need attention.

Supporting Your Child’s Growth with Trust and Structure

When followed as intended, the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding empowers children to listen to their internal cues and make decisions about what and how much to eat from the food you provide. Over time, this structure builds trust: your child learns that meals and snacks will come reliably, they won’t go hungry, and they’ll have the chance to enjoy familiar favorites while exploring new foods.

If you’re concerned about your child’s weight—whether they’re in a larger or smaller body—keep these principles in mind:

🧭 Stick to Your Roles in Feeding and Activity

You decide: what foods are offered, when meals and snacks happen, and where eating takes place.
Your child decides: whether to eat and how much.
This same balance applies to physical activity—encourage movement, but avoid pushing or micromanaging.

🍽️ Create a Positive Mealtime Environment

By their first birthday, include your child in regular family meals.
Serve one meal for everyone; don’t make special “kid food.”
Schedule sit-down snacks, and offer only water between eating times to support healthy appetite rhythms.

🍭 Normalize All Foods—Even Treats

Offer “forbidden” foods like sweets, chips, or soda occasionally during meals or snacks.
Restricting these foods can increase a child’s preoccupation with them and lead to overeating when they’re finally available.

💬 Teach Resilience Beyond the Table

Support your child in building self-awareness, emotional regulation, and problem-solving skills.
Help them develop confidence in their body and in social situations—not just at the dinner table.

💡 Advocate and Speak Up

Speak with your healthcare provider or school if weight-based messages or assumptions arise that could be harmful.
Avoid making comments—positive or negative—about your child’s or anyone else’s body.

🤝 Ask for Help When You Need It

If you’re struggling with your child’s growth or eating, seek guidance from a professional who practices from a Health at Every Size® and weight-inclusive perspective.

The Bottom Line

Consistency is key. By trusting the Satter Division of Responsibility and maintaining a predictable meal and snack routine, you support your child in developing a lifelong positive and trusting relationship with food—and help their body settle at the size that’s right for them.